


Tentative

by Skull_Bearer



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Adorable Nerd Cuddles, Cuddles, Issues With Intimacy, Kissing, M/M, Poor Hermann, Post-War, Shy Touching, Touch Aversion, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 08:00:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5997922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skull_Bearer/pseuds/Skull_Bearer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Newt Drifted with the Kaiju and saved the world. Now he gets to celebrate not being eaten with lots of kisses and cuddles with his adorable aggravating math-nerd boyfriend....</p><p>Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tentative

**Author's Note:**

  * For [irishsparkleparty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/irishsparkleparty/gifts).



> Thank you for Sherriaisling for getting this beta read on such short notice! You rock!
> 
> Pinch-hit for Irishsparkleparty.

Maybe it's the alcohol, or the party, or the fact that they've saved the fucking world, but as he and Hermann stumble out into the Shatterdome corridors and fall together unsteadily against the wall, it feels the perfect moment to close the last few delicious inches and press his lips against Hermann's.

His mouth is soft, sweet and delicious, lips narrow and swollen where he bites them, mouth broad against his. For a moment, it's perfect, it's wonderful-

Then he realises Hermann isn't kissing back.

Shit. Newt pulls away quickly; he'd thought- Hermann seemed to have liked the hug and in the Drift- he had seen what Hermann thought of him, in the Drift.

But when he looks at Hermann- he is rigid against him, eyes open and empty, mouth slack and still damp from where Newt had kissed him, hands clenched into fists.

If Newt had turned into a Kaiju in front of him and tried to eat him- it couldn't be worse.

"Hermann?" Newt's voice comes out tiny, fearful.  
Hermann blinks, but doesn't seem to see him. Newt gently touches his shoulder and he seems to come back to life a little, turns his head to look at him. "Newton?"

And he sounds so small and tentative that Newt can't bear it, "What- oh shit, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to- please, please don't freak out-"

It's a bit late for that, but Hermann manages a frail, too-forced smile. "I'm not freaking out, you just- you just kissed me, what is there to -to freak out about?!" His voice climbs to a squeak at the last few words.

"Are you- not into this?" Which would- yeah, be a shame, but Newt can go with it. "Because that's totally cool, don't need-"

"No!" Hermann's hands shake, clenched so hard his knuckles are white; "Please- kiss me again."

Newt hesitates, and Hermann tries to smile but it's way too brittle. "Are you sure?"

"Oh, by Jove-" he stands up straight, like he was going into battle, and kisses Newt firmly on the lips.

And- Newt hasn't been kissed that much, but enough that he knows when a kiss is all wrong. Hermann's whole body is tense, his lips barely move, and it's more like a head-butt than a kiss. 

"No-" Newt pushes him off. And that's wrong too because Hermann now looks like he's about to cry; "Look- I don't mind- whatever you're comfortable with, please."

"I-" Hermann looks away, covers his face with a hand, "I- no one, I've never- I don't know what I'm comfortable with."

"That's okay." Newt touches his shoulder carefully, and Hermann leans into that. "You alright with this?" He squeezes gently.

Hermann nods shakily.

"What about-" he steps closer, slides his arm over Hermann's shoulder. 

Hermann tenses, then slowly, slowly relaxes into the hug. "That's nice." He sighs.

"Good." Newt squeezes him, Hermann suddenly goes rigid again, and he quickly lets go. "I'm sorry.'' 

Hermann doesn't answer, staring blankly at the opposite wall. "Hermann?" If he's made him go catatonic again, Newt is going to find a way to go back in time and throw himself down Otachi's throat- fuck it.

Hermann closes his eyes. "I hate this."

"Um." Newt puts his hands firmly behind his back. "That’s fine! No more PDA- or, Private Displays of Affection either- but that would be PDA too so I guess the acronym can do double duty-" he forces his mouth shut to cut off any more babbling.

"Not that." Hermann shakes his hand, steadies himself on his cane, face crumpled but Newt doesn't know if he's upset or angry or both. "I love- I want to love- that." He waves a hand vaguely at Newt. "It seems- wonderful." He looks down and yeah- he's pretty upset. "I hate that I cannot enjoy it."

"Hey- hey." Newt stands in front of him; "We can cope, I don't need hugs and kisses-" although they'd be really good, he doesn't say.

"I want to have them!" Hermann slams his cane on the ground, and Newt jumps. "I wants (want) to- hug you, and kiss you, and-" He’s going bright pink and it'd be adorable if he wasn't so miserable.

"Okay." Newt leans back against the wall. "Where do you wanna start?"

Hermann scowls at him. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, you're okay with this-" Newt touches his hand, "And you're getting better with this-" he gently, tentatively puts his) arm around Hermann's shoulder. "So that's a start; what do you think we can work on next?"

Hermann looks at him, "Do you really want to waste your time-"

"Like I have anything better to do-"

"You are a war hero, Newton, you could have anyone-"

"I told you not to call me that! You've been in my head; of course I want you-"

"I am broken!" Hermann slams his cane down again, looks at it wretchedly, "In more than one way. You can do so much better-"

"Just shut up!" Newt pulls his own hair in frustration and for once, Hermann actually stops. "Fuck, I need something to do, now the Kaiju- are gone." He can barely say it, doesn't know if it's exhilarating or horrible yet, "I get to hold you and kiss you again and again- that's not a problem, trust me!"

Hermann hesitates. "Really?"

"Want to start with kissing?" Newt grins, leaning in to start.

Hermann holds up a hand to ward him off, turning his cheek.

"Really?" Newt starts, and mentally kicks himself, "Sorry, sure." He touches his lips, very carefully, to the smooth skin of his cheek.

Hermann shivers, a slight, full body tremble, his eyes closed. "Hasn't anyone ever kissed you?" Surely, his Mom-

But Hermann shakes his head, and Newt expands the list of 'Shitty Gottliebs' to include Hermann's Mom. "Okay then." He kisses him again, gently, like touching his lips to a rose petal.

"You- don't mind?" Hermann breathes, as though he can't quite believe it.

"I love it." Newt takes his hands in both of his, squeezes them. Then, because they've Drifted and it's not a secret. "I love you."

Hermann goes bright pink, can't stammer out anything but that's okay, Newt knows.


End file.
